Honey, I cancelled Christmas!

Are we sitting comfortably, looking forward to the Yuletide season, Christmas songs perhaps about to be put on, minds turned towards buying presents and putting up trees?  Let me begin!

Back in the 90s I had a friend in Germany, Silke.  I went across to see her and her family for New Year, and asked if they'd had a good Christmas.  Much to my genuine dismay they told me they didn't bother with it.  Instead they just had friends and family round just afterwards every year for a "Reste-Essen".  This is where everyone brought all their left-over food, and they had a get together to use it up.  On Christmas they did absolutely nothing.  No tree, no presents, no cards.

KEINE WEIHNACHTEN?  But, but... the Germans own this thing.  Almost all those fabulous pagan things that make little baby Jesus' birthday so special come from Germany.  These include carrying on the ancient pre-Christian tradition of worshipping trees, and celebrating the shortest day by lighting candles; not to mention Advent calendars, Christmas markets, Stollen, Glühwein, Santa Claus (okay he's a Dutch thing, but close) etc, etc.  German Christmases are just so very special.  I just couldn't understand it, and frankly it made me ein bißchen traurig.

Oscar contemplates Christmas

More confusingly, they were demonstrably a really happy, fun family, not a bunch of miserable sods who would do this for effect.  Nor were they either anti-religious, or on the other hand, members of some Protestant sect who rejected this as a "Papish custom".  They were ordinary agnostic Germans.

So, let's be clear that this blog is entirely personal.  I'm not advocating that Christmas should be "banned", or to ruin anyone else's fun.  I've just got to the point where this year, I utterly understand where Silke's family were coming from.  I've cancelled Christmas.  Let me explain!

We Have A Choice

Last year I had probably the best, most perfect Christmas of my life to date.  My boyfriend Ste came down to my cottage in Suffolk for 4 weeks, we bought our first tree together, nearly removed multiple limbs as we attempted to get it in its holder, baked things together, went ice-skating at Somerset House, cuddled the dog in front of an open fire, he made an incredible veggie Christmas dinner for us, and we visited his family in Liverpool on Boxing Day.  Short of snow coming down on the 25th, it was all as perfect and idyllic as a Christmas could be.  I loved it.

Perfection: Christmas 2012

This year, Ste is in Beijing studying and will have lessons on Xmas Day.  I'm off working in Austria on Boxing Day, flying out first thing.  My Mutti will be with my brother and sister-in-law in Germany again for the holiday.  So if I did do Christmas, it would be short, and it would be with friends who have taken pity on sad bastard me and invited me over.  I'll be seeing Ste when the Chinese New Year holiday starts and we're off to Australia/ New Zealand together.  That's our huge winter treat this year, not spending Xmas together.

Further, as I was standing in Tesco the other day contemplating all of these particular personal circumstances, staring at the tacky plastic tree leaning over with the exposed cables below, and the wrapped empty cardboard boxes to add "atmosphere", listening to the tinny piped music on repeat, it suddenly occurred to me - I really don't have to do this thing this year.  Just because last year was so good, and despite the general pressure to conform, I do actually have a choice each and every year.

Dear readers: we HAVE a choice!

Little Baby Jesus

I'm not a Christian, and belong to the ever increasing number of more than 54,000,000 people in the UK who don't go to church regularly.  I've therefore certainly no religious reason to celebrate Christ's birth.  In any case, we all know there's zero evidence that Christ was born on 25 December.  There were apparently shepherds in the fields when he was born, which doesn't happen in December in the West Bank, for a start.  The Bible actually doesn't give any date or day for his birth.  He may have been born anywhere between 6BC and 4AD, at any time of year.  It was only a couple of hundred years later, at the earliest in 273AD, that 25 December was fixed upon.  This conveniently coincided with the winter solstice, and the major pagan festival of the "birth of the invincible sun god".

Classy: Baby Jesus as a Gummi Bear

I get why Christians want to mark a symbolic day when their saviour was born, but I certainly don't need to personally.   It's also clear to me that if you're a believing Christian, you should probably be putting five times the effort into celebrating Easter than Christmas - but hey, that's your call.  Finally on this point,  the central message of Christmas is "peace and goodwill to all mankind".  It kinda strikes me that everyone should be doing that every day anyway: we don't need some day especially set aside to be nice, and then behave like little shits every other day of the year.

The Victorian Christmas: a real raison d'être

Next, it struck me that Christmas back in say, the Victorian age, was a rest-day in a time when people worked 6 days a week, and public holidays were very rare.  It was a day when people who had very little indulged themselves with special treats that were completely out of their reach normally.  A goose for lunch, for example.  Even during my father's lifetime he got oranges at Christmas, which his family couldn't afford during the rest of the year.  I'm fortunate enough to be materially very privileged, and I'll readily admit it.  Like many people in this country, there's very little I would serve up on the dinner table that I couldn't afford at any other time of year if I really wanted it.  I have 2 full days off every weekend, all of our public holidays, and like every worker in the EU, I'm entitled to 4 weeks paid holiday every year.

The point is my very fortunate personal position means that this "Victorian" aspect of Christmases past being a day off work when your belly was properly filled isn't a factor for me.  This is a big, significant change over the past 60 years and it applies to many in this country.  I'd love to say this is the case for everyone, but of course in Conservative Austerity Britain that increasingly isn't the case.  Pictures like the one below are unfortunately a reminder in 2013 that plenty across the country are heading back to the time where having a decent meal is actually something remarkable.

So depressing that this in Britain in 2013

Commercial Excess

Now let's got on to the commercial excess.  There's been a big consumer back-lash against Christmas music and displays in stores in early September, but there's still no denying there is the most hideous display of conspicuous consumption and utter tat on sale out there.  Just as in every single supermarket across the country, in our local Tesco the shelves are currently groaning under the weight of all the chocolate, the mince pies, the booze.  The over-indulgence turns the inner-Puritan stomach in me, especially knowing that people are genuinely short of basic food stuffs in my own country.  How great to come out the other side of Christmas without having to diet all through January because I stuffed my gob to excess all of December?  The thought of all the food and drink that will be consumed (and wasted) across the UK next month makes me feel faintly queasy.

The real spirit of Christmas! Stuffing yourself till you're sick.

I've also genuinely no need of any presents, and really everyone who is close to me is in pretty much the same boat.  I find it completely depressing to have to waste money for the sake of it, rushing around looking for something that friends and family might potentially want, knowing they're doing exactly the same for me.  The crass materialism so turns me off.  I'd got to the stage where I'd rather have fewer "things" in my life than more.  I've expressly asked anyone who might get me anything this year not to please.  I won't be buying anything for anyone either.

Also what does all the cheap plastic made-in-China shite, and all the over-sized gift sets that are on display, remotely have to do with a traditional Christmas, or showing your loved ones that you actually care for them?  There must be the most grotesque emotional and financial pressure on families with kids, who start circling items in catalogues and making on-line wish lists in September.  I also have no idea how people afford it.  I know you don't have to go down this road with your kids, but when their friends get new X-Boxes, it must be pretty hard not to engage in the whole thing to some extent.  We've created a horrible situation as a society where kids expect so much and parents feel guilty if they can't or won't provide.

The Tyranny of Christmas Cards

Even before this year's decision, I long since stopped sending cards out.  Remember back at school where you bought a box set and handed out 40 of them, just so you'd get 40 back and think that made you popular?  It's a bit like saying you've got 28,000 followers on Twitter, but the only reason is that you're team-follow back and follow 28,000 yourself.  In the days before cheap phone calls abroad, free Skype calls, instant email and social media communication, a card was a lovely way of knowing that someone far away was thinking of you.  Nowadays when I get one, I look at it, think "ahhh" and it goes straight in the recycling bin.  Send me a tweet instead, please - it's far better for the environment and I'll really appreciate it just as much! 

I feel your pain, Ian!

Also, how EXPENSIVE is it nowadays to do this?  I always used to think it was a convenient excuse and they didn't really do it, but begin to understand why people say they're making a donation to charity with the cash.

Family and Friends

The final thing is to comment on the friends/family aspect.  It's a lovely, lovely thing to meet up with them, and if Christmas prompts you to do so, great.  But there is no need for this to be the occasion to do so.  Muslims, Hindus and Jews manage to see their families without Christmas being the impetus.  If anything the pressure to have a "perfect time" etc can lead to well-documented domestic stress and fractious family situations.

Compare American Thanksgiving: an occasion to take stock and be thankful for all the good things in one's life and celebrating that thankfulness openly.  Families and friends come together in an almost entirely commercial-free zone (let's ignore the Black Friday consumer orgy the following day) and are just "together".   That speaks to me so, so much more than the way Christmas in the UK has developed.

And what of those who have no family or friends that they can be with at Christmas?  All the images of how it should be must represent a real kick in the teeth for them and a reminder of their isolation.

Happy Yuletide!

So there we have it.  No tree for me this Christmas 2013.  No cards.  No booze.  No advent calendar. No stuffing myself with food.  No stressful battling with the crowds in Norwich shopping precinct.  No presents.  No excess.  How do I feel? Completely liberated from something that has frankly become hollow beyond belief. 

Again to be clear, I don't wish anyone else a bad time if it means something different to you: far from it.  I guess it's a bit like when I see the Diwali lights and see how special it is for many people - but this year I'm just not part of it.  That's not a negative thing: it's less "bah humbug" than "yay, humbug!" It's actually a positive decision for me.

[Let's be honest: like hell will he let me pull this trick again]

Will this continue?  I've no idea.  Ste will be back for Christmas 2014 and we've pencilled in being with his family in Liverpool, because he was away in China this year.  Those experiences will be far more special to me than a load of presents, 300 mince pies and 4 gallons of booze.  A non-commercially excessive, card free Christmas next year is therefore "on".

But for 2013, and whenever it all just gets too much in the future*, I realise I do have a choice, and it seems to be easier to make than I thought.  Maybe I'll do Christmas bi-annually, maybe the cancellation this year will be a one-off.  Maybe I'll never do it again, and Santa will never visit me again!  Who knows.

It's a little early, but on that note, Happy Christmas, boys and girls ;-)



* See caption to above photo. Who am I kidding.

Jolly season 2

Ok, this picture looks more jolly than the previous one. It felt joyful maybe because of the christmas songs I was listening to. Those songs never grow old! the photo was taken to show the things I used to block out the fire alarm ringing as it was testing day and it rang on and off about 30 times today. It was too cold to leave the house!

Weihnachten! Christmas in Germany

Germany invented Christmas. Well, it's a bold assertion and of course by no means entirely accurate - but that said, many of the things we associate with the celebration of Christmas do have their roots in the country. The Germans "do" Christmas wonderfully and a visit to the country in December is a splendid experience.

The most obvious "German import" that both the US and Britain have is the Christmas Tree. This goes back an awfully long way. It is best explained with a comparison. The average Briton can't explain our revulsion at eating horse-meat, when cow, sheep or pig are perfectly acceptable to non-vegetarians. The cultural source for this revulsion is ancient (horses were once worshipped in Britain) and passed on from generation to generation over the centuries. So it is too with the German love of trees: forests and trees have a place in the German psyche that is quite unique. Ancient Germans worshipped the tree. Bringing a tree into the home at the time of the shortest day and lighting it with candles is a barely concealed pagan custom.

The first documented appearance of the Christmas tree in Germany is the 15th century, but as with all documentation this does not mean it is older in actual fact. There are even stories that connect the Christmas tree with the 8th century Christian martyr, St Boniface (he happens to be the patron saint of Germany). One says that he tried to demonstrate the Trinity to the heathen Germans by showing the three points of the tree and showing they were part of the same body. It didn't really help him as he was massacred by a group of heathens in modern day northern Netherlands. The stories of his connection with the Christmas tree are, however, unconfirmed.

What might surprise people is the fact that the Christmas tree seemed to be a North German, Protestant phenomenon. Catholics generally had a crib with a Nativity Scene instead. The tree only made it to Austria, for example, in 1816. A popular myth is that Prince Albert, Queen Victoria's husband, introduced the Christmas tree to Britain after their marriage in 1841. In fact, it had already been brought over with the wife of King George III (America's last king!), Queen Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz in the late 1700s. With Prince Albert the fashion of the tree spread from the Royal Family to the Upper and then Middle Classes. It also spread to the United States, where it had become common by the 1870s.

Christmas in Germany starts early. It begins with the time of Advent: many families have an advent ring at home made out of fir branches which is lit with real candles from the end of November onwards. The pre-Christian connection is again so barely concealed. Christmas markets spring up in virtually every German town where people can buy gifts and enjoy Glühwein (similar to mulled wine) in a wonderfully cosy environment that brings light to the dark evenings. Certain cities are famous for their markets: people travel from all over Europe to medieval Nuremburg to see and buy the carved wooden toys, for example. Munich has over 30 such markets. Germans are even getting in on the act in Britain nowadays: Birmingham has a long-established German Christmas market with actual Germans who come over for weeks with their little wooden houses to man them and sell their goods. The Christmas markets last until 24 December and are then all closed up and dismantled rapidly afterwards.

Erfurt Christmas Market

The next marker of the coming of Christmas is St Nicholas' Day on 5-6 December. This is traditionally the main celebration in the Netherlands too (Christmas there used to be a purely religious festival with no presents). On this night children put out their shoes (wooden or otherwise) and if they have been good they will be filled with sweets. If they have been bad they will find sticks or coal. If they have been *really* bad, Black Peter or Knecht Ruprecht (depending where you are) will put them in his bag and take them away. St Nicholas is more of a North German celebration and the Dutch version, Sinter Klaas, is of course where Americans derive the name "Santa Claus". In the US he comes on the morning of the 25th: in Germany and the Netherlands he visits a few weeks earlier.
The big celebration of Christmas is on the evening of the 24th of December. Despite its central importance, it is only then that the Christmas Tree actually makes its appearance. The children of a house will be made to wait outside while the tree is decorated. Its look is generally less gaudy than in the UK or US. Pure white lights are usually used, along with glass or wooden decorations. My own German grandmother used real candles on her tree until the 90s. Houses are incidentally not lit up outside as they are in the US (and increasingly in Britain). The most you will see is fir trees that grow in gardens covered in white lights.

Traditionally a bell is rung after dark when everything is ready. The children come into the room to find both the tree, in all its splendour, with the presents below. Depending on which part of the country you are in, they have been delivered either by the "Christ Child" (Christkind), who is a Christ like child figure of indeterminate age dressed in white with a crown, or by the "Weihnachtsmann" (more of an English Father Christmas/ US Santa Claus type figure). The presents are opened on the night of the 24th: this is the height of German Christmas. The British Royal family, with its very close links to Germany, does the same, whilst the rest of the country waits until the morning of the 25th. There are no stockings to fill overnight on the 24th: the job has already been done and Christmas stockings pretty much don't exist as a custom here.

Food is of course central to the whole experience. Decorated gingerbread houses (Hänsel and Gretel style) are often baked or bought. Stollen is the traditional cake eaten over the period, with English mince pies hardly known. Carp (few Americans would touch it!) is often eaten on Christmas Eve, together with potato salad. Children receive paper plates full of chocolates and sweets on the night of the 24th. Goose or duck is a common meal on the 25th.

There's a huge practical advantage to putting up the Christmas Tree on the 24th: it lasts through to the 6th of January without losing as many of its needles as it would if it were put up earlier. There is also a great advantage to opening presents on the 24th: parents aren't woken at the crack of dawn by eager children wanting to open their gifts! Ah, these practical Germans.

The last rather odd custom that should be mentioned of this whole period is New Year's Eve ("Sylvester", after Pope Silvester, whose day the 31 of December is). Families sit round to watch a short film called "Dinner for One". It is a black and white production from 1963 and was produced in Germany (although it was a sketch originally written in Britain in the '20s). The entire film is in English and Germans therefore assume it is English, when in fact no one has heard of it in the UK. It holds the record for the most repeated TV programme ever. Having watched it, fallen about laughing (the old jokes are the best) people go out to let fireworks off across the country to welcome the New Year in.

Rothenburg ob der Tauber (Bavaria) town square

A piece like this cannot do justice to the sheer feeling of cosiness (Gemütlichkeit) that German Christmases involve. It is a magical time which still manages to be overwhelmingly classy and traditional. I have heard Germans who look at brightly coloured English decorations and say they are more akin to Carnival time. No German would be found in a pub on the evening of the 24th as the British tend to: it is a time to be with the family beholding the wonder of the Christmas Tree and sharing presents. I may be biased but I can think of no other country where I would rather be at this time.


[The original of this blog by me was written for and published on the ACIS Travel blog]

Pre-Christmas lunch at Mussel Inn, Glasgow

Many weeks before Christmas Day, it was decided that the people who were not going to London should have a meal together somewhere fancy and also try something out of the ordinary. Hence, with some scouting and researching, we came to an agreement to give Mussel Inn a try. Their Christmas Menu managed to tantalise our tastebuds and thus, attracting us to said restaurant.

However, we were not able to dine at Mussel Inn on Christmas Day or the Eve of Christmas because Mussel Inn was not open on those days. Therefore, 23rd Dec 2010 marked the day we planned to satisfy our cravings. With the change of plans, some who were going to London the day after were able to dine with us.

Mussel Inn was just a 15 minute walk from the halls. Pretty chilly day to be out walking.

When we arrived at Mussel Inn, the table reserved for us was set up with a present for each person. Inside the wrapper were tiny gifts like mini book keychain, cards, screwdrivers and others.

Ambience wise, I'd say its a great place to wine and dine. It wasn't noisy when the lunch crowd came in. Service was not too shabby either.

Some of us ordered the 2 course meal. A basket of bread and butter was served to us on the house. The bread was refillable which complemented the the Seafood Platter main course.

Appetizers:



TOASTED GOATS CHEESE ON BAGUETTE SLICES WITH CAPER AND BELL PEPPER RELISH



CREAMY SEAFOOD CHOWDER

TEMPURA TIGER PRAWNS SERVED WITH SWEET CHILLI JAM AND CREM FRAICHE

Main Course:

GRILLED SMOKED CHICKEN WITH MELTED MOZZARELLA ON PENNE PASTA, COOKED IN ROASTED RED PEPPER SAUCE

SEAFOOD PLATTER: QUEEN SCALLOPS, SCOTTISH SALMON, COLEY, TIGER PRAWNS AND MUSSELS ALL POACHED IN A RICH SEAFOOD BISQUE TOPPED WITH CHIVE CREME FRAICHE

A third choice which none of us ordered was Grilled Seabass on Lemon and parsley mash with sweet shallot, tomato and crayfish sauce. It didnt sound too bad, but Mussels were definitely the main choice on most of our minds.

We skipped the dessert. The choices were:
Apple cinnamon strudel with vanilla cream and honey
Warm sticky date pudding served with toffee sauce and ice cream
Affogato- Coffee, Ice Cream and a Liquer of your choice.
Coffee or Tea.

The meal was great. A tad bit too rich for some of us who had the chowder and the platter. Nevertheless, it was a good experience which I don't mind repeating if I were to earn in pounds ;)

Christmas gifts - The exchange

To friends:

Picture taken from Amy coz I didn't take any pic of this.

Pretty christmas chocolates

From friends:
Just pictures of cards and gifts received for Christmas.

After Xmas humour

Christmas came and went.
I enjoyed everything done throughout the three days.
The memories were definitely worth keeping.
I've even added a 'christmas' tag here!

Not going to elaborate much till the next post.
Just wanted to put this up in conjunction with all the glorious food I've been having over the past three days: