Thursday 19 January 2012

An Ode to Onesies

In November I was on Twitter and I saw two particularly great guys I follow @SteMcCormick and @Light_XIII talking about Onesies.  I was confoosed. What were these things?  I actually had to ask them and do a Google search.

My initial reaction was to take the piss: these are giant sleeping suits worn by adults, often in the shape of animals.  Normally they are worn to lounge round in the house; some people sleep in them.

(Technically a Dragon Kigu: it doesn't have feet)

WHO would wear them though?  Well clearly cute intelligent young guys like those two - and then to my horror I realised a complete generational gap appearing on Twitter.  Everyone under 25 either had one, or at least knew what they were.  Everyone over 30 didn't seem to.  I started asking younger people I speak to: yes, they had a Pacman one; or a Skeleton one; or a Dinosaur one.

My friend @NathanMarsh who is at university told me students sometimes go out clubbing in them - a whole group of young people dressed as animals running along, dancing and having a "Onesie Night Out".

Slippery Slope

Within the next 12 hours I travelled the slippery slope from a position of mild disbelief / mocking disapproval to actually *wanting* one.  I decided to ignore this (for him) mild warning from @HyperbolicGoat:


The following lunch time I popped up to Primarni in Norwich to look at their range.  Bargain: for £12, I could be a giant polyester clothed 6'1" monkey.  How <could> I refuse?  As long as I didn't stand too close to a naked flame, all would be fine.



Looking at myself as a giant monkey I of course realise that EVERYTHING the Daily Mail says about Twitter is true.  I have gone from being a respectable City lawyer to dressing as a big brown monkey.  Twitter corrupts innocent minds.  It's dangerous.  There I've said it ;-)

Entering the Main Stream

Now, there's no denying Onesies have caught on.  They are really becoming popular.  Christmas 2011 seems to have become the "Onesie Christmas" - I've heard so many stories of people on Twitter of all ages giving and receiving them.  There are giant pink bunnies, dalmatians, hamsters, and regular hooded onesies being worn across the kingdom.

Guardian Fashion recently asked is it ever okay to wear a Onesie?  Their conclusion was sneering and a bit pants: they even argued that it can never be a sexy look.  Hmpf, look at Joey Essex below having just gone through US Customs.  I'd unzip his Onesie for him any day :o))

Joey Essex.... *swoon*

Why Onesies are Great

So now the point of this blog is to let everyone know *why* Onesies are fabulous.  They're undeniably warm and comfy.  I love putting mine on at the end of the day.  It's snug, I can turn the heating down and I lose roughly half my body weight as it's like being in a personal sauna.

I remember vividly from German literature at University a story by the cutting social observer and 19th century Swiss writer Gottfried Keller.  It is called "Kleider machen Leute" ("Clothes make the Man" to put it in Mark Twain terms).  A penniless tailor, who happens to have one nice coat, is taken in by a town, fed, feted, falls in love with a local girl: all because they are silly and bourgeois enough to assume he must be important and wealthy if dressed like that.  I agree with Keller: we do make judgements based on people's appearances.

FAR MORE IMPORTANTLY than their snugness therefore, for me, is the fact that Onesies are fun.  They look bonkers.  They are playful, they are silly, and we just know that we will be laughing over and destroying photos of ourselves in them within 24 months - just as we look back now at 70s shirts and 80s hair cuts.  They're blatantly ridiculous, and who gives two hoots?  Grown adults dressing in this way? Bring it.  The simple judgement I would make if someone is prepared to wear a Onesie is that they are a laugh.  It's precisely because people can take themselves in such a non-serious way, that I love the item of clothing, and I love people who will wear them.

Thus, I shall conclude with a massive YAY to Onesies. Long may this trend last*  \o/


Yup, I also have a Chicken one. Guilty as charged.


* I seriously doubt it will, but hey :)

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