VEGGIEPHOBIA (n): 1) Irrational fear of vegetarians; 2) State of being a total arse when in the company of those decide not to eat meat. Manifests itself in the churning out of a series of clichéd jokes or passive aggression and usually culminates in an observation such as "Ah but you wear leather shoes!"; 3) Longstanding provocation defence in English common law. Reduces a murder charge to manslaughter when the vegetarian clobbers the meat-eater to death in complete exasperation (R v Vegetarian Society [1974 AC 217[1]).
What on earth am I talking about? I just knew that if I blogged about why I'm vegetarian, I would get a whole set of snide, defensive and frankly really quite unfunny responses. When I tweeted that observation it led to a flurry of exchanges. Most meat eaters seemed amazed and genuinely didn't have any idea this type of thing existed. A series of resigned tweets from vegetarians led me to think I was far from alone.
I think Matthijs puts it pretty well. He is 26. Early retirement indeed.
A Personal Choice
Being vegetarian is an intensely personal choice. People have a whole series of reasons for it and it covers a whole range of choices about what you eat. You can have "vegetarians" who eat fish (technically they're pescetarians) through to vegans who don't eat any animal products at all. Most people are like me: lacto-ovo-vegetarians. The way I explain it is "if it had a face, then no thanks". We eat eggs, cheese, drink milk but don't eat a dead creature's flesh.
Some people are part time vegetarians, frequently choosing the non-meat option when they eat out in restaurants. It doesn't have to be a black and white choice. Many people were vegetarian for at least some time in their lives and then for whatever reason go back to eating meat, or perhaps just fish and fowl.
Some Examples
So what is the fuss about? I can't imagine hostility and jokes about a decision not to eat ice-cream for example. Yet hostility there is, without question. I've been veggie since I was 25 (I'm now 40) and the range of negative reactions range from the patronising through to quite unpleasant outright taunting. Here are a few I've encountered:
- "If we weren't supposed to eat them, why are animals made out of meat?"
- "Carrots scream when they're pulled out of the ground you know"
- "It's not natural to be vegetarian" (yup, just like antibiotics and central heating. We should all in fact live in caves and die at 30)
- "If we didn't eat cows they'd be extinct" (erm yeah, just like giraffes, for example)
- "But bacon tastes soooooo good" (ideally accompanied by picking up a piece of it on your fork and dangling it in front of the vegetarian's nose)
- "Any vegetarian who eats eggs is SO hypocritical" (having pronounced this you can smugly go back to eating your lump of steak)
- "Wasn't Hitler vegetarian? Haha - but look at what he did to the Jews... " (no he wasn't: his favourite food was sausage. He suffered from stomach cramps and so ate heavily, but not exclusively vegetarian meals)
- "Oh I could never give up [insert: bacon, Big Mac etc.]" Fascinating. Ever thought I MIGHT NOT CARE WHAT YOU LIKE TO EAT? Are you interested to know I don't like grapefruit? And also is not giving up the odd bacon sandwich *really* your reason for you to continue eating lamb, beef, pork etc up to 3 times a day?
- "How ridiculous you eat meat substitutes - I just don't get that" (for many it's an ethical not a taste decision. The thought of Wienerschnitzel makes me whimper and salivate. If I can find a tasty meat substitute I will eat and enjoy it: mung beans and tofu are not everyone's idea of fun)
- And our absolute and utterly original favourite: "Ahhh, but you wear leather shoes/ belt" followed by raised eyebrows. This is where the provocation defence mentioned in the definition above kicks in.
My best friend was once told at a dinner party by a Tory MP "Suffolk may accept your homosexuality, but it will never accept your vegetarianism". Cue guffaws from all the guests. Hmm, hysterical.
An interesting observation is that most of the negativity (dressed up frequently as "humour") comes from men. Many women say "Oh I could quite easily be a vegetarian". A good few men seem to retreat to some weird caveman position that unless you're shoving bleeding bison down your gullet, you're a huge poof. It genuinely seems to threaten the masculinity of a few guys. I find this utterly bizarre.
Back to the "jokes"... guess what - you're never going to come out with an original or amusing quip to a vegetarian - we've heard it all. Many, many, many times before. This is a large part of why we don't find it funny. When a joke is heard the 80th time, it's just not amusing. It's not to do with a lack of sense of humour. I also bet if you've made comments like this, you don't see it as being hostile, passive-aggressive or just plain boring at all. For the most part, we do, though.
Evangelical, dull, worthy vegetarians
I don't seek to impose my dietary choices on anyone. If you want to eat meat in front of me, you're welcome to. If we're out on a date and I'm paying, I'll pay for your meal whatever you order. What I won't do, personally, is cook meat for you in my house. I know plenty of veggies who would though. They just choose not to eat it themselves. I'm not evangelical and have a "live and let live attitude". I think most of us do: as I said, this is an intensely personal decision.
Ahhh you say - but what about all those evangelical, worthy vegetarians? Why do they have ram their views down our throat and get all superior? I'm sure these people exist. I literally can't say I've ever met one though. What I think is much more likely to be the case is that there is a big dollop of projection going on here from the meat-eater and it's linked to an inherent unease that some have about their diets.
Some might call this guilt. All I can speak about is myself; and before I became veggie it definitely was guilt for me. I could only eat meat if I didn't associate the cute brown eyed animal in the field with what was served up on my plate. I certainly didn't want to think about the process in the middle (or indeed the millions of animals that never see the light of day or a field at all).
Paul McCartney is right: I didn't inform myself and just wouldn't "go there" even in my own head. I therefore was naturally quite defensive in respect of anyone who had thought about this a bit more and made the decision to be veggie.
Now here's something interesting about evangelical, worthy veggies: Fiona Laird whose tweet appears above, is a friend of mine in real life. We've had dinner together in restaurants. I'd never even registered she was vegetarian until our discussion last night. She's not running around making a big fuss about it, forcing her views down people's throats. I didn't even know - and why should I, as I've never cooked for her? Many other people whom I follow tweeted me and are veggie, unbeknown to me.
So why are people veggie?
The range of reasons is huge. For me I looked down at a ham sandwich and a cheese sandwich on 20 August 1996. I simply realised I'd never made the decision to eat meat: I'd done it since a kid without thinking about it because my parents gave it to me. When I did think about it, it repulsed me. Not the taste of the stuff: but what it actually is. I know the intelligence and amazing range of emotions my dog has. I wouldn't eat @LassieOscar, so why eat any other animal? It just seemed unnecessary for me to choose the ham when I could have the cheese. I can nourish myself perfectly well without meat.
For other people it's about the environment. I can dish out the numbers: one tonne of beef production takes up 45 tonnes of crop production that could be used to feed the world. The millions of cows we breed to eat let out methane, which is 25 times more damaging to the ozone layer than carbon dioxide. Visit Uluru (Ayers Rock) in Australia and the desert for miles around under Aboriginal control is beautiful and full of flowers and wild life. Get back to cattle producing Australia and the land is red dust. One single cow guzzles over 70 gallons of water every week. A herd of 1000 is a disaster for the environment. When we ate meat once or twice a week it was better. Now as people demand meat up to three times a day, and countries with heavily vegetarian diets move to "Western" diets (e.g. China) it is massively and frighteningly unsustainable.
My best friend has been veggie for 25 years. He does not believe it is morally wrong to kill animals; he simply fundamentally objects to the industrialised factory nature of farming today. There are meat eaters like him of course: they eat little carefully sourced organic free range food (at least that's what they buy for eating at home; what's served up in restaurants is mainly out of their control). My position is that I believe killing is inherently wrong: again, this is a very personal viewpoint and you (and he) don't have to agree with it. A couple of total dimwits from the past have however taken a similar position...
What ABOUT wearing leather?!
Live and let live. For me that means respecting that if you want to eat meat and enjoy it, fine. But drop your silly comments, please, and leave me to eat what I wish to, without making me feel like a pariah when you invite me over to dinner. Please don't ask me to justify or explain myself. I don't ask you to justify why you eat meat.
If you do push and push me, and I end up pointing out that what you are putting in your mouth is the antibiotic laden corpse of a tortured animal, you're not going to take it too kindly, are you? No, even though you brought the subject up, I'll just be one of those evangelical, dull, worthy vegetarians...
As for (many) egg and (especially) dairy products, yes - you're quite right. Only a vegan can take the moral high ground in this area. Most vegans I know are quiet, thoughtful, gentle souls - they actually don't get all aggressive and moralistic, funny enough. I respect and admire them, and I know the huge problems they have in eating, other than in their own homes. The same point about the moral ground goes for wearing leather: I've tried plastic shoes: they don't work for me and it's a compromise I have made to wear leather shoes that clearly cannot be justified if I'm consistent.
There is however the rather obvious question of degree. If someone drives their car at 34 mph once a year in a 30mph speed limit, this is not great. I think most people would agree, though, that there's a qualitative difference between that and someone who speeds at 70mph every time they drive through the village. Yes, better that no one speeds: but don't pretend we are the same qualitatively. We are not. I've apparently saved the lives of around 1500 animals in the time I've been veggie. If I reach 80, then 5500 animals will not have died because of my dietary choices. Yes, my shoes are leather and an animal died to produce them. However, I'm undeniably doing my bit, however imperfect.
Ending Thoughts
If reading this has brought up issues that make you uncomfortable, sorry. If you're making a conscious informed choice to eat meat, enjoy it. If you're doing it blindly (as I was) though there is no inevitability about your continued choice. I'm not a black/white person: if you do feel uncomfortable, just cut down. Try some veggie substitutes. You can make a huge difference to animal suffering, the environment or your own health just by eating less meat rather than stopping it entirely.
There was genuine amazement last night when I tweeted about hostility to veggies. Some of it came from people who themselves had made comments such as "yummmm bacon!" to me in the past. I guess you're just not aware of it. We are and I'd ask you please have a bit of sensitivity about this. If someone has made a personal decision actively not to eat meat (which is not the default setting in this country) they've done it for a reason. Taunting them, no matter how amusing you find it, really isn't that big or clever.
Over and out: it's time for a quorn sausage!
UPDATE: Was sent this by commentator "Forty Shades of Grey" below - Priceless :-)
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