Oktoberfest!

It's that time of year again... September.  So let's talk about the Oktoberfest.  Yep, Oktoberfest is puzzlingly already on its second weekend over there in Munich, the capital of Bavaria.  Here's everything you need to know about it.  Grab a beer and enjoy...

Check out the heels - and the dainty beer mug. On their way to Oktoberfest.

It begins in September

That's the first thing to note about this, the world's biggest party.  A little like May Week, which takes place in Cambridge in June, there at first doesn't seem too much logic to this.  The celebrations date back over 200 years to when Crown Prince Ludwig of Bavaria married his bride Therese in Munich on 12 October 1810.

Ludwig later became King and abdicated after a toe-sucking scandal with an exotic dancer called Lola Montez (real name Eliza Gilbert from County Sligo in Ireland).  This caused a revolution - but that's another story.  Ludwig I is not to be confused with his slightly odd, castle-building grandson Ludwig II.  He definitely wasn't into sucking women's toes and I like to call him a "Queen amongst Kings"- click on the link if you want to learn about him in another of my posts.

Anyway, back to Ludwig I's wedding.  This is Bavaria and they like a good party.  25% of the world's entire beer production comes from this one southern German state - there are 1600 breweries here.  The average Bavarian drinks 46.5 gallons of beer a year, so they make a good dent in the beer production before they even get round to exporting it.  Beer is actually known as "liquid bread" and is classed as a food-stuff.  It's strictly brewed according to the purity law of 1516.  This says that only water, barley and hops are allowed as ingredients.

Although sometimes much stronger than American, Australian or British stuff, it tends to give you less of a hangover.  Apparently.  Can't stand the stuff personally ;-)

Bier macht stark (beer makes you strong)

So they had a massive piss-up in 1810, and it was so much fun they decided to repeat it the following year.  And again, and again - right up through until today.  Apart from 24 years that were missed because of cholera outbreaks, hyper-inflation or war, it's been held every year.  This year is therefore the 180th Oktoberfest.

It can get cold in Bavaria at this time of year, however, and the story goes that one year it snowed, ruining the fun.  You just try standing round in Lederhosen with snow blowing up your boxers.  No one likes a cold sausage.

Therefore they moved the beginning of the party back to September - it generally lasts 16 days and always ends on the first Sunday of October (subject to some funny rules about the Sunday falling on German Unification Day on 3 October.  Most people are too shit-faced to understand them, so don't worry too much about this aspect).

What is it? It's a HUGE party

As I mentioned it's the world's biggest party.  A huge part of town is set aside for the festivities, though in reality the whole city of 1.4 million is transformed into a massive beer drinking zone.  You need to book early: hotels book up 6 months in advance and they often double their prices.  People come from all over the world to join in.  Around 6 million people come to the Oktoberfest and they drink around 7 million litres of beer.  There are soft drinks on sale too, but pretty much no other alcoholic drinks.  It's ALL about beer.

It's not just about getting drunk though: there are lots of fairground rides and lots of food eating.  Being dangled upside down on a roller coaster when you've got half an ox and several litres of strong Bavarian beer inside you is just what the doctor (didn't) order, I guess.

Levitating Lederhosen and Flying Bavarian Balconies

The beer is expensive, by usual German standards, at around €8.50 a glass.  It's served in 1 litre glasses, and it's strong at 5.8-6.3%.  That's £7.10 for a two-pint glass, so £3.55 a pint.  You will literally see waiters and waitresses carrying 6 or 8 of these things in their arms in one go.  Beer clearly makes you strong!

It's not actually called Oktoberfest

Well it is and it isn't.  That's the official name.  All the locals actually call it "die Wiesn" which means "the meadows" in Bavarian dialect.  Wiesn is derived from the name of the place where all the big beer tents are set up: the Theresienwiese.  It's a 42 hectare (104 acre) site with 14 massive tents that hold literally thousands of people each.

The party is worth an estimated €1.1 billion to the local economy.   Here's a clever little thing: only breweries that produce beer within the city limits of Munich are allowed to take part.  That means 7 of them in total, who would ordinarily have shifted production to cheaper sites outside the city.  They don't, however, because of the value of beer sales and the prestige of taking part in Oktoberfest- thereby keeping employment in town.  The huge copper vats of the breweries can be seen all round the city as a result.

Inside the Löwenbräu Tent at Oktoberfest

There are, of course, copies of Oktoberfest around the world, particularly in the US.  German immigrants brought the tradition with them.  Here in the UK I heard of one in Southsea in Hampshire, which included both the serving of wine AND ferret racing...  *shudder*.  You just can't trust the English with serious stuff like this.

Atmosphere

The atmosphere is just brilliant.  I've been once and I can't describe what a great time I had.  It isn't some testosterone laden lads' drinking fest.  The latest figures show women made up 49% of visitors.  6% of visitors were families with children under 14 years old.  People tend to get very merry, but not obnoxiously drunk.  The whole city seems to stop for the party and people will greet you with smiles and laughter on the street.  It's not at all unusual to bump into a group of sozzled grannies.  It is simply wunderbar. 

A party for everyone in modern day multi-cultural Germany

Inside the tents you have thousands of people drinking, chatting, eating and listening to the cheesy oompah bands, who will often play contemporary pop songs too.  Everyone is out to have a good time and the usual barriers about not talking to strangers don't apply.  It's unique and it's lovely.

Last orders in the tents are at 10.30pm so it's not a late night thing.  Sure, other places are open later, but given the tents start serving beer at 9am (or earlier) there's more than enough time to get merry.

Lederhosen and Dirndl

Thousands of people wear Lederhosen or Dirndl to the Oktoberfest.  These are the traditional peasants' clothes that belong to Southern Germany and particularly Austria (not originally Switzerland).  They had died out for a while after the War, but a little recognised fact is that the gay community of Munich is largely responsible for bringing them back to popularity from the early 90s onwards. 

My pal @FionaLaird looking stunning in her Dirndl

Gays of course tend to be ahead of the curve, and the wearing of Lederhosen and Dirndl is now absolutely huge.  Even the German Press has been commenting on it regarding this year's celebrations.  'Tracht is everywhere".  The clothes have totally lost their slightly dodgy nationalist/ conservative association, and instead are recognised as the incredibly flattering, colourful and fun local dress that they are.

The photo at the beginning of this post shows how Dirndl can be made contemporary by wearing killer heels, instead of the flat shoes that formed part of the original peasant dress.  Or Fiona shows here how good they can look with a pair of slinky boots.

Bavarian Balcony, complete with floral decoration

Together the Lederhosen and Dirndl outfits are called "Tracht" in German.  Dirndl pull in the waist, push up the boobs to create the cleavage of the famous "Bavarian Balcony" (often decorated with flowers, I jest not!), hide the backside, and just look great.  As for Lederhosen, I'll come on to their attraction, and powers of attraction, in a moment...

Tracht tends to be worn on special occasions, but you'll see real life people, particularly younger ones, out in them at any time of year on the streets of Munich, Salzburg or in any number of smaller places.  Lederhosen in particular are often worn for a hike in the mountains.  As Benjamin below noted on a recent trip to Austria, they actually are a thing.

You will even find Tracht on sale in Northern Germany nowadays.  Prince Bismarck, the great 19th century Prussian chancellor and all-round reactionary, grumpy, old bastard apparently jokingly described the Bavarians as "half Austrian and half human" (think about it).  He'd have been spinning in his grave to know that department stores in central Berlin now stock the sexy leather trousers worn only in his time by mountain lads down south.

Despite being (properly) half-Prussian myself, I'm extremely happy to say that I own my own pair of Lederhosen and love wearing them when I'm in Southern Germany or Austria.  I've even worn them in London in fact, a couple of times.

I'm also proud to say that a highlight of my sad, tragic life to date was when a group of Abercrombie & Fitch models with abs you could grate cheese on chased me down a street in Munich last October and asked me for a photo.  Yup, you've got that right - they usually get asked all day long for photos of them - they asked me instead and dragged me back to the store especially for it.

No.. I didn't photoshop myself onto this, as much as it might look like it

Take that Bismarck: the (pulling) power of Lederhosen, you see!

Gay Oktoberfest

Since the 1970s there's been a special part of the celebrations organised by the Munich LGBT community.  It's called Rosa Wiesn - or pink meadows. It's a series of events, including the biggest, "Gay Sunday" in the Bräurosl tent.  I went to one of the events and I've never experienced anything quite like it.

Half of the tent was straight - nice, bourgeois visitors eating Weisswurst for breakfast with a beer.  The other half was utterly trashed by 10.30am.  Gay boys were up on the tables dancing, shirts opened to the waist, in their little Lederhosen, socks rolled down their calves, with their cute checked neckerchiefs on.  Is there a more flattering look for a fit guy than Lederhosen?  No. Actually I hated it.  Hated it, I tell you *cough*.

There were also lesbians with plaited hair in Dirndl (and some of course in Lederhosen!) The atmosphere was so incredibly friendly and electric.  Everywhere people were joining in the singing and I've never been to a gay event so free of attitude.  The fact that there were straight people tucking into breakfast on the other side of the tent (you could draw a line down the tent), who were utterly non-plussed by the drunken boys and girls next door, made it all the more fabulous.

Boys in Lederhosen on the Munich subway. Nightmare.

There we have it.  I've used a combination of my own photos and ones from a recent article in the Süddeutsche Zeitung for this post, so I'd better just credit them for copyright purposes.  If you ever get the chance to visit Oktoberfest, I can't recommend it more highly.  Book early, wear Tracht, and Prost!

Munich

I've done a "travel guide" before, but hey here goes. I'd like to tell you about my favourite city perhaps anywhere: Munich.  I'm off there again on 1 January and it's the single city I probably visit most outside the UK.

First Experiences: Munich is Shite!

The first time I visited Munich I thought it was absolutely shit.  I'd been inter-railing with my friend Nick in the summer of 1990: we were 19. After a full four weeks travelling around, three days in post-revolution Bucharest with nothing to buy except watermelons, bread and clothes pegs (the latter aren't that edible) had left us in quite a state.  We caught the Istanbul Express from Belgrade to Munich overnight and slept in the corridor. I remember people stepping over my head, smoking all night long, and had the delights of waking up with the side of my face stuck to the floor as I'd rolled off my camping mat.

We got off at Munich Hauptbahnhof, put our least stinking clothes on, washed up a bit, and bought as much food as we could afford from a department store supermarket.  I remember what then happened so clearly: I even know the place we were sitting devouring our rolls with processed sliced cheese, when an old man came up.  He asked in German where we were from.  I assumed he was begging and trying to get some food from us.  I wasn't concentrating (there's a distinction between "kommen von" and "kommen aus" in German) and answered that we came from "Romania".

The lovely old Bavarian clearly thought we were starving Eastern Europeans and offered us the groceries he'd just bought.  I was mortified and swiftly explained we'd *come* from Romania, but were English and had plenty of Deutsche Mark to buy ourselves some more processed cheese if we wanted it!  Bless him, I felt awful for the way I'd dismissed this kindly generous guy out of hand.

The rest of the day was spent wandering round the main shopping street, missing all the sights, and catching a night train on to Paris.  We probably bought some more rolls and cheese to fortify us through the night.  That was Munich.

Munich: Let's Try Again

I then returned with a group of young Americans whom I was leading around Europe.  We had a coach tour of the city with a local guide.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing: we literally had missed everything.  The city was beautiful: full of stunning architecture, beautiful green spaces, art galleries, history, markets and restaurants.  It is classy as anything.  The Munich people love to say it is an Italian city north of the Alps.  Frankly, that's crap.  I know Italy, and love Italy, and whilst elements of the Ludwigstrasse definitely have echos of Florence (quite deliberately) this is very much a German city in terms of architecture, cleanliness and "Ordnung".

The Italianate "Ludwigstrasse" with Alps behind

The people of the city may also be referring to the "laid back" attitude in the city.  Again *ahem*.  It is a little more chilled than say Hamburg, but far less so than scrappy-anything-goes Berlin.  It is an efficient, clean, polished city of 1.4 million people with an incredibly high local GDP.  Yes, people guzzle Bier and will happily sit round being sociable after work, but a city this wealthy did not come from a lot of hard work.  Get on the U-Bahn at 7am and you'll see everyone on their way to work at Siemens, BMW, the publishing houses (it's second only to New York in terms of numbers), or the many insurance and reinsurance companies.

Schickie Mickies

The city is not just wealthy, it is by any standards a very egalitarian city.  The unemployment level is around 4% and everyone seems well off.  You see yuppies in their BMW cabrios (the so called "Schickie Mickies") everywhere and well dressed students (over 100,000 young Germans study here for €500 a semester fees) but remarkably few homeless.   The city has been ruled by a Social Democrat/ Green Coalition for years.  Massive amounts are invested in excellent, reliable public transport: fab retro teak lined subway trains from the late 60s and their gleaming brand new air-conditioned designer counterparts.  You can ride 8km from one side of the city to the other, without touching a road once, on the network of cycle paths. And yes, both young and old people DO wear Lederhosen and Dirndls not for fancy dress (more later).

Oh, ze Lederhosen. Mein Gott.

You just get the sense of a very cohesive, comfortable, well off group of inhabitants.  There are stacks of art galleries (the Alte Pinakothek is magnificent), 4 symphony orchestras, loads of museums - it is an extremely cultural city.  Munich is supremely bourgeois, but in a sharp, trendy, "right on" way.  The city is hugely gay-friendly, has almost 25% non-German population and its Jewish population is apparently back up to 1933 levels.  The newly opened main synagogue in the centre of town is a testament to this: the six smaller ones were packed to overflowing, so a magnificent new one was opened on 9 November 2006. 

The New Munich Synagogue

You also feel you're in a young city: there are so many youthful faces everywhere.  The city is very liberal: in the summer people go to the city park (the "English Garden") and strip off over lunchtime and nude sunbathe.  It's not pervy or weird: you'll see a mother having her picnic with her kids and a young couple nude sunbathing right next door.  You'll also see the SURFERS all year round just close by.  These dudes (and dudesses) can be seen all year round (wet suits in winter) surfing on some serious waves close to the US Consulate.  The story goes that a GI from Hawaii stationed here after WW2 discovered the spot, but that is of course probably utter rubbish.  In any case, I highly recommend stopping here, at the entrance to the English Garden and watching them do their stuff.

Bavarian Surfer Boys (*Skreeeem*)

The English Garden of course also houses Bier Gardens: they are all over the city and provide a "sitting room" for people with apartments to go and meet and be sociable.  Apparently the average Bavarian drinks 46.5 gallons of beer per year.  It is called "liquid bread" and covered by the oldest food purity law in the world.  It is fooking lovely.  Just watch the Wheat Beer: it packs a headache and hangover like none other.  I'll only ever have one and then move to the regular Light or Dark Beer.

There are six big Munich breweries, all located within the city limits, as they have to be to take part in the Oktoberfest.  In 1810 the Crown Prince got married and they had a huge party to celebrate.  The people of Munich liked it so much they did it again in 1811 and have been doing so (with a couple of war related/ hyper inflation related interruptions) ever since.  It begins in late September (one year it snowed in October, so they moved it forward), lasts 16 days and is the world's biggest beer drinking festival.  The atmosphere is amazing: the whole city stops for 16 days as over 6 million visitors come to join in, visit the massive beer tents, drink several million pints of beer, and have fun.

An outstanding Bavarian Balcony

People are merry, but not obnoxiously drunk.  There are crazily fast fairground rides too - just what you want after drinking a few litre glasses of beer.  I've been once: the gay tent was *incredible* - drunken Bavarian boys in Lederhosen up on the tables at 10am, with their shirts open, wearing cute little neckerchiefs, singing and locking arms.  Wow. Just, erm, wow.  If you want to go to Oktoberfest, be aware hotel prices are literally doubled and rooms sell out 6 months in advance.  Ideally you should book no later than now (December 2011) for October 2012.  The Oktoberfest brings a staggering €830 million into the local economy.

Munich of course has not always been the cosmopolitan fun place it now is.  I read a description of the city in the winter of 1933 by that outstanding and sadly recently deceased travel writer, Patrick Leigh Fermor that sent shudders down my spine.  It was the City of the Nazis: the "Brown City" (as opposed to the socialist stronghold of Berlin, the "Red City").  When Hitler arrived from Vienna he declared "Finally, a German City!".  Vienna was much too international for his tastes.  The old main synagogue in Munich was destroyed in June 1938, 5 months before the other German cities "did their bit".  There are traces of the Nazi past all over the place: amazing fascist buildings that mysteriously all missed the Allied carpet bombing raids (6600 civilians died here, as opposed to 568 in Coventry).  Around 75% of the city was destroyed, but the main buildings were later beautifully reconstructed, unlike in other German cities.

"Führerbau": where Chamberlain signed Munich Agreement

I could write on and on about the history of the place, before, during and after the Nazi period (the 1972 Olympics are fascinating: private sponsorship was *banned* and the city and state paid for everything) but I think I'd probably send you to sleep :(  If you're into this stuff though, the city is a treasure trove of places to look up and is steeped in history.

Some Top Tips

Okay now it's time for some top tips of places to go if this has whetted your appetite to visit.  My favourite hotel is a gorgeous little designer boutique place close to the historic area around the Hofbräuhaus.  It is called Hotel Cortiina and is just loooooovely (click for link).  It runs in at about €250 a night, so is not exactly cheap... if you want somewhere stylish, cheaper, and a little further out but in a beautiful quiet street, try Motel One (Deutsches Museum).  It's around €85 for a double room, has an über-trendy bar and is still a design hotel despite the name.

My top meal recommendations are Sunday brunch at the Park Café (a former SS hangout and now mega trendy contemporary beer hall and jazz venue close to the Hauptbahnhof - the type of place the girls from Sex and the City would come to)... and a high end pizza restaurant called Riva Tal.  The staff are just erm... well very decorative... and the food is literally better than any pizza I've ever had in Italy.  If you really want to eat hearty Bavarian crap, there's plenty of it, and I guess I should recommend Weisswurst (apparently delicious white veal sausage, eaten only ever before 12 noon) - but as a veggie I'm just not going to. So suck it up.

In terms of sightseeing, the thing about Munich is it's quite small: 1.4 million inhabitants is not a lot and there aren't hundreds of big "sights" to see as in Paris or London.  I love it precisely because the centre is so walkable.   I can just stroll about, eat, drink, soak up the atmosphere and enjoy the place. I do enjoy the Residenz (the former Royal Bavarian Winter Palace in the centre of town), the Olympic Park is well worth a visit out to on the U-Bahn, and while you're there most definitely go to BMW World.  It is free and even if you're not into cars, the architecture will blow you mind.  It apparently cost half a billion Euro to build and they have old and new BMW cars and motorbikes to play about with.

BMW World with Olympic Tower/ Park behind

Make sure you also visit the Viktualienmarkt (the main food and flower market) and Dallmayr, a grocery store that is smaller, but I think a lot classier than the Harrod's Food Hall.  Maximilianstrasse has the best shopping in town, along with the department store Oberpollinger which can give Harvey Nicks, a run for its money, dahling.  Check out the Veuve Cliquot bar there.  A totally zany recommendation is Wiesn Tracht which is run by a mad old Bavarian queen, his cohort of gorgeous girls, and sells Lederhosen and Dirndls.  They will serve you champagne free of charge if you hang round long enough admiring the checked shirts.  I go here *every* time I'm in Munich and buy something :)

The *actual* staff of Wiesn Tracht

Rounding Up

Okay, so I hope I've given you a litte taste of Munich?  I've done a lot of travel. I adore it. I've been to a total of 63 countries around the world on 5 continents on my own travels.  I've taken my groups of Americans to 178 towns & cities in 18 countries across Europe (yup, I keep an OCD style list).

I'm often asked what my favourite place is.  It's really hard to answer: doesn't it depend what for?  Of course I have places I love for nature, for beauty, for excitement, for relaxation...  But of cities where I would chose to spend a weekend or even a week - or where I would consider having an apartment - three stand out for me: Amsterdam, Zurich and Munich.  Of these three (I've lived in the first two) Munich is my all-time favourite.

If you haven't been, Oscar says you don't know what you're missing out on.  Even *he* has been to Munich with me.

@LassieOscar on tour in Bavaria